“where are thou”

i’ve been having very very weird dreams. every night. sometimes good, sometimes odd, sometimes bad. it must be due to the lack of brain activity that’s causing me to think weird thoughts.

it’s less than a month already. so quickly, i have lived for twenty odd years. most of it has been a blast, i must admit. although i can still remember the harsh days of growing up. boo.

 

the way life cycle works, i’m going to have to deal with lots of things that are supposedly important, but in actual, are simply the superficial reasons why people need to survive.

it’s quite the wonder.

it’s rather amazing how most channel 8 sitcoms always use “mr robinson” as their ang mo counterparts. instead of some “mr brown” or “mr johnson”, as with lecturers enjoy using.

i am really wondering what i’m supposed to be doing with my life now instead of heavily idling and doing nothing. i feel my muscles hardening up due to inactivity.

what’s worse, with the h1n1 nonsense going on, it’ll be such a damper to do anything.

 

i think i shall sleep again soon.

it seems as if

i really have no direction in life. talk about the ultimate couch potato.

 

i need to find that direction. fast.

 

 

 

gosh, i suddenly feel so old.

very much in need of a job.

not mainly because i need the money (only partly!), but largely because i need to find an avenue to spend my time fruitfully. i need to find something instead of just wasting my time sleeping till the sun is burning on my skin, when all there is left to do is to prepare dinner.

the strain of influenza a is depressing. i just have this feeling that lots of people have already been exposed to it, just that there are those who are stronger than others and have yet to show symptoms of the disease. i keep hearing the conversations of how people should just not go out; but really, is home the safest? people still have to commute everyday, and those who head out to work, still face the risks of coming into contact with one of those who have got then disease. how does the very definition of safety relate to it all?

so, me being me, i just don’t care, carry on heading out to exceedingly populated locations and holding my breath everytime some one coughs or sneezes; because being the assholes they are, they have no idea what basic courtesy/manners of covering are.

kl was quite fulfilling, although boring. (see the irony?!) all expenditure was on food. ALL. 5 meals a day is totally a backside. although we walked so much our thighs were aching the next day. see, the problem with age. but i’m seriously amazed at how 3 people can have a full breakfast at like 10.30am, kfc family feast at 3pm, a full course chinese dinner at 6pm, deep fried marybrown chicken at 11pm, and pizza at 2am. it’s amazing, the amount we managed to stuff into our body. i think the food was all very much cramped up inside because the next day, my intestines were aching like a muscle ache, and the incredible feeling of constipation was bad. so, to resolve that problem, EVEN MORE WALKING. see, the only time i ever am willing to walk to much, is when i’m not in sg. others i’d have kicked up a fuss, and demand some one carry me, else, take a cab. hahaha.

but on overall, i thought it was fun, because walking through places that we are unfamilar with, knowing very well that we may be lost, now, that was interesting. because the three of us really had no idea where we were walking to. we only knew it was downhill and then uphill and it was so dark we couldn’t really see much that was ahead of us. i reckon if we saw something we shouldn’t (think white cartoon things), we would’ve freaked on the spot and ran to even a place we’d be even more lost at. and then when we finally made it back, oh yeah, we were tired, BUT, still not tired enough; so we headed to play wii. fun. it’s more fun than 360, so from now, we’ve made it a thing to bug cy to buy one set and place it at his place downstairs; since we have the 360 here, we’ve got no place for wii, and since he’s so conveniently downstairs, wii shall be placed there forever and ever. (:

 

and so, yes, it was quite enjoyable. next time, we’ll play rollercoasters all day. and scream our lungs out. (:

now now, child.

why is it that some types of people are simply generally obligated to others? or rather, why does a certain type of people feel obligated to a certain type of others?

it’s annoying when the feeling of saying no becomes this revolting guilt magnet that starts to form the moment the thoughts of it form. to such that extent that you have seemingly no choice but to say “yes, alright, i’ll see what i can do”. but come to think of it, do these people actually deserve it?

now, i honestly do not think so.

if only i had just said no. and then, what would have resulted? i may have simply be faced with a whole bunch of shit for, what, two weeks?, but then after that it’ll all be normal (or not) again. but then, now that i said i’d see what i can do, and literally shifted everything away, THIS IS THE KIND OF SHIT I GET. i seriously don’t owe anything to have to say oh yes, i’d definitely do it. but then now, i’m sick of it that i’m wondering why my life is constantly revolving around it, and yet, i’m supposed to be EXPECTED to be obligated; when i’m not obligated to anything or anyone or anytime.

SO WHY IS THIS ALWAYS ON ME!?

i don’t like it. i wish to be free of it. it’s so troublesome. for the brain and the emotions to have to face.

please, seriously. just seriously.

 

 

tsk.