it’s been awhile.

adam lambert’s album is not surprisingly queen-ie, but surprisingly nice.

it’s been quite the past few months. seriously. and now, christmas is coming. consider the time when it was time for resolutions of 2009, it’s time for 2010 please. and surprisingly, i DID fulfill quite the number of resolutions of 2009. secretly proud of myself.

especially my brush with death. hahahaha! (:

soon, it’ll be time to mug like an idiot. and then, the stress of results, and that’s the end of official schooling. that’s kind of scary. but. that’s a phase. which has to eventually end.

how do you define what in life actually means something? after all, life after life ends, is a totally urelated difference compared to death. yet, when alive we all think and say things that we don’t mean, do things that we have no outright interest in, and believe in things that are not real. when alive we see the creations of man as a more important factor than man itself. when alive we seek the more reasons to live based ok whatever we can achieve to obtain materials.

so why is that so? why do we always regret our actions after life as come to a point of standstill and when thee’s no other option but to wait for time to pass by?

i don’t know how to put it. but it’s been a rather unhappy period for me. i know how much there are other troubles that are affecting the brain but it’s already overspilling and affecting the entire atmostphere already. everyday. there is a shade over which there is never actually a day that a good thing is out. you’re always saying that other people are always complaining, but have you thought about how you’re always complaining? you don’t joke anymore, you don’t talk to people nicely, you don’t even exhude the proper table manners, much less complain about other people not having it.

i am constantly being placed in the middle. stuck. and at crossfire, because i don’t know which side to take. yet, sitting on the fence doesn’t exactly get me anywhere either. sometimes, ♀ vs – just gets me all fuddled, other times it’s ♂ vs -. when can i have some peace of mind to know that i don’t have to think about all these unnecessary ridiculous childish comments and criticisms?!

sometimes, i really just want to tell ♂ to stop minding other people’s business. seriously, enough is enough. you don’t care about the things that are happening in your face, you keep bothering about other people’s for what?! not as if you are damn free or something. seriously. -_-

i got bored complaining in my own blog, i ended up reading other mediacorp artistes blogs. in some odd way, some lead very fanciful lives with fanciful buys. while some, have stagnant blogs that are updated with fanciful finds. then there’s some that have the usual musings and rambles of another human being.

the world. is. a. mess. so many catastrophes happening all within a week. why?! there are major earthquakes, bad haze, high rising floods. then there are flash forest fires, and of course, the ever happening, melting glaciers. i’m depressed the world is in a mess. and we’re the ones who messed it up. yet, now, we have no idea how to save it. is it because we’re all just way too selfish to help conserve and preserve the best that nature has to give? like me. wasting electricity blogging at night when i should be asleep, this leads to the burning of coal, leading to the decrease in the supply of coal, and the introduction of more emmissions of smelly gases into the atmosphere. which causes more dark clouds to gather, and more rains to happen. and also more dust to form, trapping more heat on earth, causing more glaciers to melt.

OH MY GOODNESS. I JUST MADE MYSELF FEEL TERRIBLY GUILTY. SLEEP.

what kind of host hosts a 21st birthday party for his son, and invites his own friends? and not get the number of people right and end up telling his guests not to go instead. seriously. that’s just whatthehell please.

anyway. it’s been a fruitful day.

indian accents and monotone voices tomorrow.

sleepy.

that is what it is right. the very last lap. the last four units to go. and i’m done. therefore, i hope, the last lap, will be the best lap?

in the art of racing, a driver anticipates and causes whatever that happens next to take place. therefore, i got to anticipate the results of whatever that happens if i choose to do whatever else. the semester is going to be as short (if not shorter) as the last, so, shall just try to make the best of it. love it, live it, breathe it, embrace it, excel it. ya, like it is so simple. -_-

the past few days, despite the terrible throat and drippy nose, it has been pleasantly fun/interesting. one round of mj, lots of new food, and rather calm and peaceful moments. at this point in time, i just don’t want the holidays to end.

get well soon!

it is 2 days left to the end of my suddenly-so-short holidays, and, OH, THE HORROR! -_- i have this immense fear/feeling that i have played for a tad a bit the a lot that i may have ended up forgetting how to take notes. hahaha! oh well, “i got a feeling ~~” that everything will be alright. i just need to set the mind right, and hit the play button really hard so that i get the right show to play. and give it all for the very last semester. till even more horror begins.

the irony. =/

anyway, after a long long wait, finally caught the proposal, and yet, as always, am happy that sandra bullock became an actress. (: although it seems frightening to stand next to a … boy?! but nonetheless, it was a good show.

so here’s what i have for the next 21 weeks or so of lectures:

monday – 12pm psych; 3.30pm hrm
tuesday – 12pm law
thursday – 12pm msm

so if need be a date, all other days please. maybe not wednesdays. because i may be in study mode then. although considering how nice the timetable is, if i don’t answer the phones over the weekends, it’s probably because i’m on some long weekend. happily only. -_- as they say, all work and no play, make selene a moody nerd.

all the more so, i wish the sore throat would go away and for whatever that’s ailing me be gone. i am in a very uncomfortable position, as it is. boohoo. and am also very pissed with the fat piece of shit called brother that’s stealing all my internet connection doing whatever he’s doing. (really very not happy hor!)

either way, hopefully a good semester ahead, and no nightmares about failing papers. sleep beckons.

the problem with the sportsmen of sg:

Channel NewsAsia – Friday, September 11 SINGAPORE :

Singapore football captain Noh Alam Shah has slammed Singapore football, saying it is stagnant.

His remarks came ahead of his departure to Indonesia club Arema Malang where he has signed a one—year contract.

Alam Shah has been a household name, not only for his goal scoring but also his volatile temper.

Not new to controversy, the 29 year old said he has had enough of Singapore football, citing a lack of motivation due to poor attendances at S.League matches.

Several Singapore players are also contemplating a move to Indonesia clubs, which promise better salaries and capacity crowds.

Another grouse, Alam Shah thinks good players have been left out of the league because of the Football Association of Singapore’s insistence on them passing the beep or fitness test.

He feels he is also being singled out by referees for past encounters.

“The referee standards has also gone down a bit, maybe me and most of the referees got history. I think they treat me (based) on (what happened in) the past and not the present. That is wrong and that’s one of the reasons I am leaving,” said Alam Shah, who plays for the Singapore National Team.

Alam Shah will play his last match for club Tampines Rovers against Sengkang Punggol on Friday. — CNA /ls

i mean, come on. seriously?! whatever happened to the good hearted nature of sportsmanship.

TSK.

FIGHT!

yeah. got to fight the many many battles so that there will be victories. as well as defeats, which always happens right. some how, i think, defeats are always more common than victories. how sad. it’s probably why we must always learn to fall first before we learn to crawl. so why are there born genius assholes who can crawl without falling?!

i. am. in. much. missing. of. hyl. which is kind of funny. since when i’m away on trips and stuff, i don’t think about it so much. but when he’s the one who’s away, it feels oddly dissatisfying. not that because he’s having fun anyway. worst thing is that i still get to talk to him at night. imagine not being able to do that. haha. oh man, my phone bills will have a beautiful month! hahahahaha. come to think of it, maybe it’s not a bad idea he’s always away after all! so evil. sighs. i wonder why, being such a horrid girlfriend, he can still bother about me. how nice.

just another thought about a couple of messages yesterday is really kind of extremely funny. “we are free we come visit the dogs.” and then in succession, “wah, so many young mothers.” in reply, “huh. what has dogs got to do with young mothers.” then, “no links lah. i say we go see dogs. then after that i say got a lot of young mothers who have got babies already.” and in reply, “i thought you say the dogs very young got babies. haha!” oh man. was openly confused as to what he was trying to say please. we really have very weird conversations.

it’s very amusing when cats start chasing after your computer mouse. must be something that’s amusing them.

MAGGIE CHIN. cookies for you by the end of the week! (:

(:

it’s just kind of that wonder that shopping online gives you this sense of minute satisfaction and dissonative regret, YET, shopping at brick and mortar shops from companies that started online, just gives you – this sense of minute satisfaction and dissonative regret. AND YET, i still do it. hahaha.

i have honestly no idea why i buy so many things all the time. constantly questioning, “do i really want another one?”; “do i really need this?”; “is this really going to be worth it?”. still, when the time comes, it’s always, “just buy first then see how.” really damn bad habit can!

had a nice lunch with s and j and pokpok today. and then had a good time walking around and shopping with j. it’s been a super long time since i last got that chance to hang out with her like that.

not that i want to say that i am racist (even though i secretly am) BUT, that darker skinned person really too much hor. you choose to make purchase online, yet when you’re being sent notice to pay, you don’t want to reply. what an asshole. think you dark then you big ah. angry. if by tomorrow noon i still don’t receive or hear any updates, i’m just cancelling and relisting it. idiot.

on overall. i’m having a good day. WITH EVEN MORE THINGS IN MIND TO BUY. i have a very poisonous addiction, i tell you. TSKKKKKK.

//edit. i forgot how much i like this photo. hahahaha.

in case you haven’t noticed, i’ve now got live twitter updates.  that is, when i update my tweets. i like how mobility just gets people connected. IF ONLY MY PHONE WASN’T SOME PIECE OF SHIT. NO THANKS TO HTC. (i miss my htc diamond many many.)

caught “diary of a sex addict” with yl while ago. i must say, that is one thought-provoking movie. especially the part about “marriage or prostitution”; how the whole idea kind of lumps it up together because the men eventually control. which to a certain extent is rather true. the only thing is how val can fuck around without the fear of stds. that’s just amazing. doing the movie alone, i wonder how the effects are being created, i mean, REALLY?! you can just do that in front of crew and and lights and cameras? i’ve got to hand it to you.

i’d consider today a rather good day. IF ONLY THERE WASN’T THE STRESS OF RESULTS. in about 2 and a half days. ): OMGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG.

on another note, ‘10 diaries are coming soon! (: time for happy hunt.